33. At Last

Life has no meaning and no purpose outside of life itself, at least not one that we can know from our own experience. We cannot step outside this life for a moment to see what its purpose is. This also means that there can be no path to such a supposed final goal. No one and nothing can give us any direction, and there is no need to.

The truth and reality of this life is exactly and only THIS moment, the moment I'm typing these words and the moment you are reading them. That's it.

And so the conscious and attentive experience of this moment, stripped of conceptual overlays, can open us to the ineffable [………] of this existence, right where we are. You cannot want or cause this. It happens. While walking in a forest, listening to music, waiting in a car, sitting on the toilet or watching an ant make its way.

It stops.

For a moment there seems to be a hole in the structure of thought and the natural, naked, wordless reality of existence is suddenly perfectly clear. You know. It is simply that where I am now, what I see now, how I feel now, what I experience now. That cannot be improved upon. Does not have to be and cannot be practiced.

"This present appearance is unmistakable. What is it? We cannot say! THIS simply cannot be pinned down into any dualistic and exclusionary category such as existence or non-existence, real or unreal, permanent or impermanent, meaningful or meaningless.

Nothing we say or think can capture the immediacy of what is. THIS here and now is clear, unquestionable and inevitable. It cannot be doubted. What can be doubted are its interpretations. But even the interpretations are nothing but THAT which manifests itself as interpretations.

Really, there is no way not to be this. There is nothing that should or should not happen. There is no one outside of THIS to get it or lose it. There is only this."

Joan Tollifson on Facebook

What is there to add to this? As Joan says above, moment to moment, THIS is it. It's that simple. And I don't have to do anything for it. Nor can I do anything about it. The world happens to me, as me, ready and waiting.

The world is an overwhelming and stunning experience. The night sky, all the plants and animals, the cities and towns, the mountains around me. The functioning of my body, the dreams in my sleep, the people I meet, that damn itch on my arm. Loneliness. Memories of my childhood… So ordinary, so extraordinary.

I am hungry again.

Ah, those fries on the pier...